Receiving versus Giving

I am a giver. Due to being raised in a broken home I have learned to fend for myself. I was always inventive, took initiative and wasn't waiting for people to do things for me. Being single till age 39 enforced that even more. I was simply not used to people caring for me. I don't think that necessarily says something about the people around me. Even with the people who did care and gave, it was hard for me to receive and see. When someone was in need I would be there before even having been asked. I just notice need. It is a good trait. I am the person who thinks “your burden is my burden”.

And now I am married. I am married to a good man. A man who cares in sweet ways, a man to whom giving comes easily, a man who also sees need. My man loves me and wants to care for me and sees my need.

We knew we needed time to get into certain routines after we got married. The first weeks of our marriage I was the one to get up and making us breakfast and coffee, and I served Tim. I loved it. But Tim began another routine. He felt I was serving him so often that he thought it was a good thing if he would get up first in the morning to make me tea and fresh OJ. So that is what he does. He serves me, he brings me tea and OJ upstairs where I enjoy another 30 minutes in the bed by myself as he gets ready for his day.

Like I said, Tim desires to take care of me. And I will share that this is still not easy for me. I lie in bed awake and wait for him to serve ME?! I spoke with my dear friend Yvonne from Holland the other day. She knows my past and felt the need to remind me (again) of the fact that I needed some 'caring for' for a while. I just need to receive and I know she is right. I know God is teaching me in this. He is making me more whole. But besides making me more whole, it also reminds me of the fact that this is who Jesus is. He just gives! All I can do is receive. There is no giving on my part involved.

Jesus didn't come because I asked. I didn't see a need, and still He came to the world, to me, FOR me to grab hold of. I know that when I take in this truth and live every day from that perspective, I will be in a better place. I will breathe more easily, I will have rest and be at peace. From that good things come.

So as I am embracing Tim's care for me, I realize his care is a true picture of Jesus loving me.